Letter To My Daughter: You Don’t Have To Be A Good Girl

Smiling African American woman and girl looking at screen while surfing contemporary netbook at counter with cut carrot in kitchenNo, you don’t have to be a “good girl” because life is not meant to be good all the time or in all circumstances you find yourself in. Boys and girls from the moment they come into the world are neither good nor bad. They are children, and that is wonderful. Since you came into the world your magic when looking at me with those green eyes cannot be compared with anything. There is no one like you in the world, because we are all unique, different and irreplaceable.

Never be who you are not

You do not have to try to be who you are, nor do you have to show a correct attitude because that is what society expects of you. You have to be yourself, do things as it comes from your heart. No more. The good and the bad, behaving well or badly, I will teach you at home, but you do not have to learn it outside of it.

When you go out into the world you will need to know that what matters is not being “a good girl”, what really matters in life is that you always act from the heart. Because people, we try to act before the circumstances of life in the best way that we know or can at that time.

Live your emotions with intensity

You have the right to feel emotions with all their intensity, because all of them are valid and necessary, but once you feel them, you will have to know what they mean and be able to make sense of them and seek solutions if necessary to rediscover your emotional balance. I will teach you my daughter, I will be your guide so that when you take flight you will know how to do it for yourself.

But, even if you know and learn to do it yourself, you should know that both your father, like me and your family, we will be by your side whenever you need it. When you need advice or feel at a crossroads, I will be there to guide you, or at least to help you decide for yourself what is best.

You must know that I will not always be in this world, therefore, my job while I live is to prepare you so that you know how to defend yourself and be a strong and autonomous woman.You will know how to manage your emotions, make decisions and learn from your mistakes whenever you need them. The word resilience will define you because that’s how you will be, wonderful in every way.

You have taught me to live my emotions

With these words I do not want you to feel that I am demanding something that you cannot do, nothing is further from reality. Because I will never demand of you what you are not capable of giving, I am satisfied that you are yourself always and above all, that you do not want to be a specific way to please others. Others must accept you as you are.

Thanks to you I have learned to live my emotions (all of them) and I have learned to manage them and never deny them. Because they are all valid and necessary. You just have to focus on yourself, understand what happens to you and know how to manage it, because when this is achieved empathy, resilience and assertiveness, they come alone.

Thanks for being you

Dad and Daughter Having Fun and Laughing While Looking at the SmartphoneThank you my dear for being my mirror and I yours. Because thanks to you I have learned to really understand myself. We have grown as a family and as people, because despite being just a child, you have given us great life lessons, perhaps without your realizing it.

You don’t have to be a good girl who loses control of her own life to give it to others. No, my daughter, that’s not what you should do. You do not want to please others and much less at the cost of your own suffering or accepting injustices. Never tolerate that. Never blindly obey the adult, question all his rules if necessary, because adults also make mistakes.And that’s okay. We’re all human.

Allow yourself to get angry, rage, and even rage, but manage those intense emotions so that they don’t get out of control and end up controlling you. Nor do you need to stop being a girl … you must remain a girl for as long as necessary. Never allow others to clip your wings or undermine your imagination.

Don’t let the world pressure you in such a way that you stop being yourself. Like your mother, I release you from all that. I release you from rigidity, a rigidity that you must understand because the world is like that and you will have to adapt to it, but inside you must always be yourself. Never allow others to take control of your life. Your freedom will always be above everything else.